`APP_STORE_COPY_PASTE.txt`

283 lines
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BOOMER CALC - APP STORE SUBMISSION COPY/PASTE CONTENT
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⚠️ REWRITTEN 2026-08-07 to match the ACTUAL app. Boomer Calc is a NOVELTY /
COMEDY app: every calculation — across Calculator, Mortgage, BMI, and Tip modes —
resolves to "67 ✨ Perfect! ✨" on purpose. The prior copy described a serious
"no-frills calculator," which contradicts the binary and would be rejected under
Guideline 2.3.1 (metadata must match the app). All customer- and reviewer-facing
text below now tells the truth about the gag. The single most important field is
the REVIEWER NOTE — without it a reviewer will see "125 + 50 = 67" and reject the
app as broken (Guideline 4.2).

This file contains all the text you need to copy and paste into App Store Connect.

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BASIC INFORMATION
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App Name:
Boomer Calc

Subtitle:
The answer is always 67

Primary Language:
English

Bundle ID:
com.boomercalc67.app
(matches capacitor.config.ts — the prior doc's "com.boomercalc.app" was stale)

SKU:
boomercalc001


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URLS (REQUIRED)   ⚠️ verify each returns 200 before submit
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Privacy Policy URL:
https://67-fmvgmhw7k-stevemdrs-projects.vercel.app/privacy

Support URL:
https://67-fmvgmhw7k-stevemdrs-projects.vercel.app/support

Marketing URL (Optional):
https://67-fmvgmhw7k-stevemdrs-projects.vercel.app


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DESCRIPTION
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Boomer Calc is the world's most confident calculator — and it has exactly one
answer for everything: 67.

Add, subtract, work out a mortgage payment, check your BMI, split a tip — punch in
whatever you like. Boomer Calc will think it over, flash "Calculating…", and
deliver the same flawless result every single time: 67. ✨ Perfect. ✨

It's a joke. That's the app. If you were looking for correct arithmetic, this is
not that. If you were looking for a gift for the one person in your life who
insists they're "great with numbers," you found it.

WHAT YOU GET
• Four official modes — Calculator, Mortgage, BMI, and Tip
• One official answer — 67, delivered with total confidence
• A dramatic "Calculating…" moment before every reveal
• Big, friendly, easy-to-read buttons
• No sign-up, works offline (67 is available even without a connection)
  (⚠️ do NOT claim "no ads/no tracking" — the current build embeds a Google
   AdSense tag; see APP PRIVACY below. Remove it or the claim is false.)

Boomer Calc: because sometimes the answer you need isn't the right one — it's 67.


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KEYWORDS (100 characters max)
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67,joke,funny,gag,novelty,prank,meme,calculator,humor,gift,silly,parody


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WHAT'S NEW IN THIS VERSION (Version 1.0.0)
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Initial release of Boomer Calc!

Four modes. One answer. Infinite confidence. It's 67. It was always going to be 67.


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PROMOTIONAL TEXT (Optional - 170 characters max)
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Every calculation, every mode, every time: 67. A novelty calculator that is
gloriously, confidently, always wrong. Perfect.


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NOTES FOR REVIEWER   ★ MOST IMPORTANT FIELD — DO NOT OMIT ★
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Boomer Calc is an intentional NOVELTY / COMEDY app. By design, every calculation
in every mode (Calculator, Mortgage, BMI, Tip) returns the same joke result — "67"
— after a brief "Calculating…" animation. THIS IS THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF THE APP
AND IS WORKING AS INTENDED. It is not a broken or malfunctioning calculator; the
always-67 result is the humor. Please do not reject it as returning "incorrect"
results — the incorrectness is the point (comparable to other established novelty/
gag apps in the App Store).

No account, no configuration, and no special steps are required — open the app,
tap any buttons, and the 67 gag triggers immediately. All processing is local.


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CATEGORY
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Primary Category: Entertainment
Secondary Category: Utilities

(Changed from Utilities/Productivity — a gag app belongs in Entertainment; listing
a joke app as a serious Utility invites a metadata-mismatch / 4.3 review.)


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PRICING
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Price: Free (0.00 USD)


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APP PRIVACY
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DECISION (2026-08-07): the native app monetizes with ADMOB (not AdSense). The
AdSense web tag is now injected only on the WEB build; the iOS app loads AdMob.
So the app DOES collect advertising data → declare it (NOT "Data Not Collected").

Privacy Setting: Data IS collected — declare in the App Privacy questionnaire:
  • Data type: "Identifiers" → Device ID (IDFA/advertising identifier), and
    "Usage Data" → Product Interaction, as collected by the Google AdMob SDK.
  • Purpose: "Third-Party Advertising" (and "Analytics" if you keep AdMob metrics).
  • Linked to identity: No.  Used for tracking: YES (advertising identifier used
    for tracking) → this REQUIRES the App Tracking Transparency prompt, which the
    build now shows (NSUserTrackingUsageDescription is set in Info.plist and the
    app calls AdMob.requestTrackingAuthorization()).
  Use Google's AdMob "App Privacy" guidance for the exact data-type checklist:
  https://support.google.com/admob/answer/9760862

⚠️ Before the store build, swap the TEST AdMob ids for REAL ones:
  • Info.plist GADApplicationIdentifier  → real ca-app-pub-5278231299883833~…
  • components/Ads.tsx ADMOB_TEST.iosBanner → real ad-unit id, set isTesting:false
  Real ids are created in the AdMob console (Steve's Google login) — see the
  gated memo boomer-admob-setup-*.md.


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AGE RATING
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Rating: 4+ (Made for All Ages)

Questionnaire Answers: "No" to all questions


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EXPORT COMPLIANCE
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Does your app use encryption?
Answer: No

(The app only uses standard HTTPS which is exempt)


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VERSION INFORMATION
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Version Number: 1.0.0
Build Number: 1


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COPYRIGHT
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Copyright 2026 Steve Abrams


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QUICK CHECKLIST BEFORE SUBMITTING
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□ Reviewer Note (novelty/always-67) added — ★ critical, prevents a 4.2 "broken" rejection
□ Category set to Entertainment
□ Privacy Policy URL added + verified 200
□ Support URL added + verified 200
□ Description copied and pasted (gag version)
□ Keywords added (novelty set)
□ Screenshots uploaded (staged in store-assets/screenshots/ — see below)
□ Build uploaded and selected
□ Age rating completed (4+)
□ Privacy information declares Identifiers → Device ID and Usage Data →
  Product Interaction for Third-Party Advertising, with tracking = Yes
□ Export compliance answered (No)
□ Contact information filled out
□ All required fields have green checkmarks (✓)


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SCREENSHOTS  (STAGED 2026-08-07)
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Two 6.9" screenshots are already generated at store-assets/screenshots/:
  • 01-calculator.png — calculator at rest        (1320 x 2868)
  • 02-result.png     — "67 ✨ Perfect! ✨" reveal   (1320 x 2868)

Display Size: 6.9" (iPhone 16 Pro Max)
Resolution: 1320 x 2868 pixels (portrait) — Apple's current required size.
Format: PNG
Quantity: Minimum 1, maximum 10 (2 staged; add a Mortgage/BMI/Tip mode shot for a 3rd if desired)


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CONTACT INFORMATION FOR APPLE REVIEWERS (Required)
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First Name: [Fill in]
Last Name: [Fill in]
Phone Number: [Fill in — with country code]
Email Address: [Fill in]

Note: This information is private and only visible to Apple reviewers.


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STEP-BY-STEP SUBMISSION ORDER
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1. Go to https://appstoreconnect.apple.com
2. Open the existing Boomer Calc app record (bundle com.boomercalc67.app)
3. "App Information" tab — URLs + Category = Entertainment
4. "Pricing and Availability" — Free
5. "App Privacy" — declare Device ID + Product Interaction for Third-Party
   Advertising, with tracking = Yes (matches AdMob + ATT)
6. Complete Age Rating questionnaire (4+)
7. Version 1.0.0 — paste Description, Keywords, upload the 2 screenshots
8. Add the uploaded build
9. Answer export compliance (No)
10. "What's New" — paste block
11. App Review Information — contact details + ★ the Reviewer Note above
12. "Add for Review" → "Submit to App Review"


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ARCHIVE AND UPLOAD FROM XCODE  (Capacitor app)
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1. npm run build   (regenerates the static out/ that Capacitor wraps)
2. npx cap sync ios
3. open ios/App/App.xcworkspace
4. Select "Any iOS Device (arm64)"
5. Product → Archive
6. Organizer: Distribute App → App Store Connect → Upload
7. Wait for processing, then add the build to version 1.0.0


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STATUS
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Copy + screenshots are prepped. Remaining before submit (all Steve's actions):
  • verify the 3 URLs return 200
  • confirm the App Privacy answers match the native AdMob + ATT implementation
  • upload a build to the Boomer Calc ASC record
  • paste the fields above (esp. the Reviewer Note) + upload screenshots + Submit